Let’s get this straight: Yes, you are of infinite value. And, we don’t always feel that way. Not to mention even believe it. So much gets in the way of knowing this, and in a lot of ways, it doesn’t appear that life looks this way.
We think in terms of prices, because we live in a culture where most things have a price, including the medical costs of our birth and the costs of raising us. So, we naturally ask questions of worth about all kinds of things. But the truth is, the attachment of “worth” or “value” to our existence is pretty silly.
The better way to say it really is the old credit card ad: we are “priceless.” That is, we cannot be measured in any way by money. Just like you can’t measure the volume of air with a ruler (meant to measure length), or the square feet of your apartment with a geiger counter (meant to measure radiation), money simply isn’t a meaningful measure of our value. The best we can say (and it isn’t really a good way to say it, but let’s stick with it for now), is that we are of infinite value.
Okay, we say, no big deal, got it. But then, we have to do things like: ask for a raise for having gone above and beyond for our employer; balance time spent at work vs. being with the kids; figure out how much we can afford for a vacation; the price of a special meal for our sweetie on our anniversary; or price our services with our clients. And then we start to ask “What is it worth?”
Again, it’s a perfectly logical question. But for many of us, this sets off all kinds of alarm bells. What am I worth? Am I worth a vacation, a raise, to be paid this rather than that? And if you have any struggles with self-worth, issues of belonging with your family around money, or any one of a dozen different money-related issues, we are going down the wrong road, one that simply does not get us to any useful answers.
“What is it worth” is almost always the wrong question, because every single one of those things is ALSO of infinite worth. I can even argue that going to a movie (which usually costs $10-15) could potentially be of infinite worth, if we see it as part of a life of joy, delight, fun and recreation. What would a life be worth without those things? Not much. And yet, your local movie theater has to price these things in some way that makes sense to you and me when we think about going to the movies.
When we are solid about our infinite worth–when we know it, deep in our bones, without question and really without even thinking about it much–then we can start to bring some logic, consideration, meaning, choice and heart-felt desire to what we want in life that costs money, or with respect to asking others for money to pay us for our services. These become, then, transactional relationships of dignity and simplicity.
So, the big question, for any of us who struggle with this, is: How do we learn, deep down, our infinite worth? That’s a big question, but I’d like to start us in a useful direction: it has something to do with proper belonging in the world, and bringing in strength from a place much greater than one we can exercise on our own.
Many of us struggle with our worth, because worth was a struggle in our families. Ouch. But, this is available for healing. It is changeable, for you and the life you want to create now.
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