My annual Constellations for Individuals course is coming up soon (see more details below). As I prepare for that, I am again thinking about how our culture encourages us to think personally about our problems. From this point of view, your depression is yours, whether you address it medically or spiritually or on your own or with a therapist. It’s your issue, connected to your genes and/or your childhood trauma.
We are only just starting to wrestle with how so many of our “personal problems” aren’t personal at all. For instance, we are starting to get that racism isn’t just an issue of individual racists, but a systemic issue that is embedded in our institutions, subcultures, and, in a sense, our communal soul. This is also true for sexism, homophobia, colonialism, ableism, and so many other structures of systemic oppression.
This is a helpful start. And, when it comes to our “personal problems,” we still tend to think about them as being our personal responsibility – my eating disorder, my relationship issues, my mood problems, my employment challenges. We’ve been trained to think that way.
This is not entirely bad. There’s a lot to be gained from taking a deep look at our personal history and dynamics for insight into how we are the way we are. At its best, this approach can be profoundly empowering, giving us a sense of autonomy and authorship in our life.
But it has its limitations. For instance, if a pain in your knee was actually caused by an injury to your neck, it isn’t going to help to keep treating your knee, when it’s the neck that needs treatment and healing to alleviate what is simply a symptom in your knee.
This is often true of our “personal problems,” too. What if my problem with forming deep relationships is not only due to my personal history, but also a reflection of the attachment wound and loneliness that our whole culture suffers from? Or, what if my difficulty in exercising like I need to do to stay well isn’t only a sign of a lack of self-love I developed from childhood, but is also part of our larger culture’s struggle with our human bodies in a modern, industrialized world?
To address these issues only from a personal point of view is going to keep me stuck. And that is what my clients come to me with, over and over – problems that they’ve really tried to fix, but which stay resolutely stuck. They are the same problems I struggle with!
My readers here already know that constellations offers a unique approach to dealing with these kinds of problems systemically.
What you may not know is that this approach also deals with these problems practically. With just a little bit of exposure to this way of thinking, there can be profound transformation in our day to day lives as we encounter the ups and downs of common human living.
In just a few weeks, my annual Constellations for Individuals online training will start. This course is for anyone who has some exposure to constellations work, and wants to integrate the work into their personal healing, their work with 1:1 clients (as in therapy or coaching), and/or their growing constellations work.
You can save $100 on the course through Thursday, June 20th! So, now is the time to check out the website with all the details, reach out to me with any questions, and consider registering for the course.
We gather an amazing international group of attuned, curious and heartfelt colleagues, and we always have fun, learn a lot, and discover some of our own surprising healing. This is one of my favorite courses to teach, and I enthusiastically invite you to join us.
Want more info and to register? Go to Constellations for Individuals.
What is your experience with looking at a problem systemically rather than personally? Or, how might it change a problem you are wrestling with to see it in this new way? Please share your stories, thoughts and questions on my blog, so that we can all benefit from our shared growth….
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