Have We Forgotten Mercy?

So many of my clients are tired. Not just tired in all the ways we are in our overly-busy culture, but tired of, well, healing. They experienced serious traumas in childhood, or inherited patterns of suffering from their families, and they want something better. Many of them have been seeking greater ease for years. They are tired. And maybe kind of cranky about having to work so hard at all this.

The radical changes in healing work that our culture is experiencing is a great thing. But it does have its shadows. One shadow is the way we learn to “work” our healing, with a sense of unending effort to take responsibility and figure out everything. Yes, everything. But when “everything” is our goal, we will discover that we are always, always falling short, right?

For instance, sometimes, a group constellation can get really stuck. A family system may refuse whatever is offered. Then, the anger, blame and sense of victimization or righteousness persist. The group gets exhausted and irked. The client may be feeling hopeless. At that point, I inquire with the Field what is missing, what is needed, what has been excluded. What is being left out in all this effort and work?

At that moment, I have been inspired to bring in a representative for “mercy.” This is usually transformational. The system had forgotten to have a place for mercy. But when it has a place for mercy, the system can move forward again. The whole system apparently needed a bit of a break. When it gets that break, it takes off the pressure, and therefore gives more room for courage. And courage leads to the next step…

Bringing in “mercy” is not a usual thing that facilitators learn in their trainings. It’s a response in the moment, after listening to the system and asking what it needs. It is something that advanced practitioners start to learn how to do, in creative response to the family system’s Field.

My Advanced Training starts next week! If you are someone who has already been trained, or you’ve been immersed enough in constellations work that you may be ready for more advanced learning, and you want to take the next step, NOW is the time to contact me and let me know you would like to jump in. We already have a lovely group of adventurous practitioners – we’d love to have you, too!

Have you been touched – or perhaps even healed – by experiencing unexpected mercy in some form? Please share your experiences and thoughts about mercy on my blog below.