Clients often ask me this question: Which would be better for me – group or individual work? What is the better setting for my healing, and what’s the difference?
Constellation work originated as a group process. People gathered to explore the systems we live in — family, ancestral, cultural, societal — and found healing through bringing order to these systems to which we always belong.
This is a type of “Sacred Circle” work, common to a wide variety of healing and ritual settings. It’s a deeply instinctual way to gather. From AA groups to drum circles to folk dance to worship services to book circles to town halls, whether we are literally in a circle or not, these gatherings are necessary for us, and have the potential to build stronger, healthier communities. They can represent a coherent “us” that isn’t necessarily about shared beliefs, but is about standing in solidarity for a shared piece of soul-essential work. As any beneficiary of a good support group can testify, these kinds of gatherings can be incredibly meaningful.
Constellations Groups certainly have this kind of impact. Our personal wound is non-judgmentally witnessed by a group of people, often strangers, who stand in solidarity with the us as we face some of the most difficult things people face. For instance, recently a client had to find a way to honor the impact that the Holocaust had on her family, including some of the suffering that she endured in childhood as a result. It was intense work! And it was held with courage and hopefulness by the group — the only way, indeed, it could have been done.
Constellation work, however, had evolved since its beginnings, to one-on-one contexts as well. It no doubt helps with the logistical problems that sometimes come along with trying to assemble a group. However, individual constellation work has strengths on its own merits, too. Think about a strong, positive experience you’ve had with a single other person: you will probably remember what it meant to you to be connected to that one person, and to give and/or receive focused attention. It is something a group can’t do — that quality of individual mirroring and connection.
Sometimes, on our healing journey, this is what we need. We need someone’s skillful, kind personal attention as we do the systemic exploration and healing that is necessary. It can also help people whose trauma inclines them to easily dysregulate — having one-on-one attention can help regulate them through the session, and keep the process safe.
It is a great gift of constellation work that it can be done both ways. This summer, I will once again lead my five-week Constellations for Individuals online series for facilitators and other healing practitioners to learn the various ways this work can be done in a one-on-one context. We always have lots of fun practicing the different ways this work has beautifully adapted to different contexts, often integrating the insights of other 1:1 modalities, all in support of systemic healing.
How have you experienced the healing power of sacred circles and skillful personal interactions? How do they seem different? We are strengthened when we share. Please offer your stories on my blog, below.
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