Facing the new with creativity and commitment: When something has come to an end, whether by choice or it is imposed upon us, we grieve what is lost, and then face what’s next with creativity and commitment. This is always true, whether it’s in the context of a loved one’s death, the end of a relationship, the close of a career, or an unexpected disaster.
This truth has become more starkly and collectively evident as we are forced to respond to the always-evolving three-year-long pandemic, as well as the growing and unavoidable impacts of the climate crisis. Yes, we must grieve what is lost – otherwise, we cannot move forward – but eventually, we must face the new, the changed world, and find our proper place in it.
This is our shared, collective reality, which is why it is also the theme of next year’s Western Constellations Intensive. We need support, imagination, comfort and encouragement to collectively and individually engage what is true now — and which has, really always been true: reality faces us, and we ae invited into thoughtful action.
I often say there are two ways constellations changes things for clients. One is by intervening in their system and finding new resolutions, for instance, by helping a mother who was abandoned by her parent to re-connect with this parent; when this happens, we all feel the entire system strengthened.
But there is another way constellations changes things, which is by really not changing anything. Instead, we find the capacity to Honor What-Is, in solidarity with each other, respecting what has unfolded, and recognizing that what’s happened, has happened, it cannot be undone. We are strengthened by this solidarity and the recovery of our own dignity in the face of what was often unimaginably terrible.
This becomes, then, an expression of faithfulness to the emerging present, rather than nostalgia for or stuckness in what is past. We seek to acknowledge and honor What-Is, which is the first move to strengthen us to engage life and leave a legacy for those who follow.
What is your experience of having to face the radically, new, perhaps-unexpected reality of your life? How did you find courage to mourn and re-engage? Please share your thoughts and stories on my blog, below.
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