The Law of Attraction, in it’s essence, is very simple and almost irrefutable: That which we place our attention on, to a great degree, determines our experience. So, if I spend a lot of time worrying about whether I will be penniless and homeless, well, then, my life will probably be an expression, somehow, of that anxiety.
However, that’s just the simplest version of the Law of Attraction. A more dogmatic version is: “Whatever I think about, must happen.” If we get a bit more sophisticated, we might add “if I think very hard and very often about it.”
I remember when I was a kid, growing up in an atheist family, and somehow I got my hands on the book “The Exorcist.” It’s quite a compelling and terrifying read! As I read, I knew I didn’t believe in the devil, but in that magical thinking that all kids have, I began to worry that if I somehow accidentally, for a minute, imagined the devil was real, then it WOULD be real, and then my soul would be cooked. Yes, I genuinely worried about this for a few days.
I remember that experience with great affection, because it is so emblematic of childhood thinking. That wonderful magical phase when we imagine just by thinking of things, I could make things happen. Needless to say, I never managed to manifest the devil (thank goodness!).
But for some adults, unfortunately, this version of the Law of Attraction is a reality. I can’t tell you how often I meet people who are really struggling with money ask for help to manifest winning the lottery, or to make business clients manifest without doing any marketing.
With deep compassion, this is an injured child’s version of the Law of Attraction. It’s a desire for things to appear and be the way they ought to be. It is a very appropriate perspective for a child. In good steady homes and neighborhoods, dinner should appear on the table; a good school should be provided; secure housing should always be there at the end of the day. A child should never be responsible for providing these basic needs. It is the parents and other adults who should provide these needs for them.
But as adults, it becomes part of our dignity to create, build and make. To provide for our own (and others’) needs (as well as receive from others’ creative capacity). When we market a business well and thereby attract happy clients, we can say “I did that! I created that!” And we can have true pride in our capacities and power. When we manage, somehow, to heal from childhood wounds and become providers to others–our children, the community–we humans innately feel deeply good.
I don’t want to take this away from anyone. I am unable to help anyone manifest the lottery, but beyond that, I don’t want to. I don’t want to take adult creative dignity away from people.
What I want to do–and what I do with my clients–is help heal the deep sense of loss, abandonment and grief of a childhood where needs did not get fully met, and be able to say “Yes, as a child you should have had that provided. I am so sorry you didn’t.”
The adult version of the Law of Attraction makes us powerful in a way that is full of weighty dignity, respects the challenges we’ve faced, and invites us into the joy of being authentic, unique creators, together.
What’s your experience of the Law of Attraction and healing the experience of not having needs met in childhood? Please post your questions and comments on my blog here.
Hi Leslie,
I really loved this: ‘But as adults, it becomes part of our dignity to create, build and make. ‘
The idea of a ‘Law’ of attraction has never really resonated with me. If it was framed as a ‘tendency of attraction’ it might be more appealing. I do believe there’s something to the idea that if we focus on something and move towards that something, we are more likely to get results. But nothing is guaranteed, and sometimes not getting what I was trying to attract into my life has been the more satisfying outcome.