The First Order of Love in constellations work is to “Honor What Is.” Over and over in constellations we see the damage done in families and communities when there are secrets or major events that aren’t seen and honored for what they are. Indeed, sometimes simply honoring what has not been previously acknowledged is mostly […]

We are all embedded in family systems. Some of the family in that system is alive, and others are dead. In constellations, we work for healthier and more ordered relationships with both.   In theory, there’s not much difference. The living and dead are all people, we are in relationship with them, and the quality […]

One of the great insights of Bert Hellinger, the founder of constellations work, is that our belongings bestow on us an unconscious “conscience,” which tells us who we are, what the rules are, what is right and wrong, and so much more. He discovered it when working in post-war Germany, and observing that people had […]

In the United States, we are again facing the grim consequences of our gun culture. In this newsletter, I am going to reflect on this from a systemic point of view. If you are reading from a country other than the USA, I invite you to read on in a spirit of compassion, and perhaps […]

Clients often ask me this question: Which would be better for me – group or individual work? What is the better setting for my healing, and what’s the difference?   Constellation work originated as a group process. People gathered to explore the systems we live in — family, ancestral, cultural, societal — and found healing […]

Bert Hellinger and other systemic thinkers teach that the drive to belong is one of the strongest influences on human behavior. Our need to belong inclines us — consciously or unconsciously — to be loyal, and to acquire the worldview and practices of the groups to which we belong.   This tendency is especially strong […]

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is a notion called “rapport.” Rapport is the feeling a gazelle has with another gazelle, and does not feel with a lion. It’s when we know that we are with someone who shares a basic stance towards life. It’s often called “being of like kind.”   Rapport is what a […]