In a healthy family, children develop the capacity to be separate and still belong. Psychologists call this “individuation”: when as adults we are capable both of independence AND intimacy. We need both to be whole, and when they are in correct balance, there is no impression that there is a conflict between the two – […]

Every summer up here in Northern California, our attention turns to the fires. This year, even more so than last year’s devastating season. I just cancelled my annual Constellations in Mt.Shasta event because of the enormous and deadly fires near Redding and Ukiah – there’s simply too much worry, smoke and distraction to ask people […]

Humans are storytelling creatures. Before we had print or other ways to record ourselves, we sat together and told stories – ones from our own lives, passing on what happened, and “made up” ones that explained the world around us and entertained our listeners. In our analytical age, we are re-discovering the power of stories. […]

I spent last week solo backpacking in the Western Sierra. These trails are surrounded by stone, pine and water. There is something especially imposing about the rocks. They are massive granite formations that have a timeless quality about them, even as the obvious wearing that creates fantastic shapes shows the impact of time, as long […]

Gratitude for our lives is a good thing. For many of us, gratitude practice is a meaningful and practical antidote to despair and overwhelm. But it turns out that gratitude also has a cost… Last month, I organized and enjoyed my second West Coast Constellations Intensive. In this work, themes always emerge that seem to […]

I want to do this in a way that empowers us. And yes, I am going to talk about the separation of parents from children. So, fair warning – I know we’ve all been barraged with this awful story, and we’re feeling raw. None of us needs a polyanna response that asserts everything will be […]

“It takes a village” the saying goes. It’s usually applied to raising children, but it really applies to everything. It takes a village to… mourn a loss adjust to a new reality endure being unemployed understand and announce your identity name and fight against an injustice come home from war and heal recover from an […]