What is your relationship to Fate? This is a question of central importance to Family Constellations work. But not in the way we often think about “fate” (or “destiny.”) I like to say that constellations works in two ways: 1) They “fix” things by including what was excluded, grieving what was lost, addressing what was […]

I write a lot about how we are shaped by our families, especially our parents. But of course, there are many other influences that intensely influence our lives and what seems possible for us. Among these forces are social and cultural systems, like racism, sexism, colonialism, wealth inequality, and all the various ways in which […]

If you’ve been around constellation work enough, you’ve heard the phrase “taking your mother and your father.” But what does this mean? The accidents of fate that surround our birth are innumerable. The fact is: we are here, despite and because of all the joy, suffering, limitations, and gifts of those who preceded us, including […]

For the next few weeks I will be busy in Australia, teaching and learning at the Australasian Systemic Constellations Intensive (and hopefully getting a little beach time, too). I look forward to reporting back with new inspirations when I return! While I am here, I am teaching two workshops. I’d like to share a bit […]

What are the gifts of thinking systemically? Ah, there are so many! Today, I invite you to consider the simplest gift that thinking systemically gives to us – the ability to count past two. 😉 When all we have is two (or a polarity, a binary), then everything becomes an either/or, which by the nature […]

I have a few questions to start today’s article: Do you feel like you almost always have to be the “biggest” one in groups and gatherings, and you can’t just settle into being somewhere in the middle? Or, maybe you often feel like you can’t take your full stature, no matter what? Do you feel […]

“Welcome” – A 2018 Candidate for Word of the Year. Discovering or choosing a word for the upcoming year has become popular. Since I am a bit contradictory by nature, you may be surprised I quite like this practice. I’m not sure a single word always lives out a whole year, but at the beginning, […]