We spend a lot of our lives in groups that aren’t our families. Work places, clubs, sports teams, volunteer organizations, neighborhoods – we have a lot of complex relationships that also need good health to function well. The quality of our lives can depend a great deal on whether those groups are healthy or not. […]

Life comes from the Universe (God, creation, everywhere – however you like to say it!). But that life comes through our ancestors, to our parents, to us. It may not seem to matter much, but it turns out, it matters very much. Any parent can tell you that it matters that life flowed through them […]

Belonging isn’t merely necessary – it’s actually inevitable. Despite all the ways we often feel thrown out, or like we are too different, or that we ourselves walked away, belonging still endures. What do I mean when I say that? Last week I introduced my video series on the Orders of Love. “Belonging” is one […]

Have you ever worked in an organization that could tolerate mistakes and limitations, and still ran pretty well? How about a job where despite everyone’s best efforts, it was ongoing chaos and distress? Most of us have experienced both at one time or another! All systems have patterns they “prefer.” Without those patterns, systems become […]

How do we learn a physical activity or practice? Something like skiing, taking blood, driving a car, fixing an appliance, massage? If the activity is highly technical (think surgery or wiring a home for electricity) you are probably going to start with some foundational theory. However, sooner or later, you are going to have to […]

Most of us have a deep instinct for what is “wrong” in relationships. We have a sense of fairness, and a sense of what creates safety and connection. We may disagree on the details, but in broad strokes, there is significant consensus. What makes for the consensus? What is it based on? Well, for a […]

Anger, grief, joy: these emotions are completely natural to us and part of normal, healthy human functioning. Sometimes these feelings make us feel more complete. They help us acknowledge the things that are important in life; they connect us to beauty and justice; they help us to bond with humans, animals and nature; they support […]