The world is happy and joyful and…you are not. Or, at least partially not. Instead: You dread seeing your family, or You just can’t feel that seasonal “joy,” or You procrastinate on all your holiday “duties” and feel like a failure, or You get stressed beyond your normal tolerances, or You plain get lonely and […]
Making Intimacy Safe…Again
Where did you learn how to love? We all learn it in the same place: from our parents. It’s from them that we first learn about how to attach, what it’s like, and how to manage challenges that can arise. If all goes well, we learn that attachment is a good, enjoyable and pleasurable thing, […]
How to be Safe? Rapport & Belief Change
Being “out of rapport” with ourselves is a deeply painful experience. We feel ourselves, in some way, as our own enemy or to be unsafe for ourselves. When we look deeply at something we want in our lives that we are unable, despite great effort, to experience, we discover that something deeply unconscious in us […]
The Surprising Source of Effortless Strength & Courage
Powerlessness. Choicelessness. “Tom” came to me with a complaint that he just couldn’t find the energy to move forward in life. He was stuck in his work life, and everything was tinged by the suspicion that he just wasn’t good enough. As it turned out, Tom’s mother began life having inherited a disease as a […]
The Power of Changing Beliefs
Look at your experience, and you will know what you believe about yourself and life. Obviously, I’m not talking about conscious beliefs like evolution, the platform of the Republican Party, or who killed JFK. I am talking about unconscious beliefs that determine almost everything we are permitted or required to experience. These beliefs may be […]
The Secret of Safety: Rapport with Self & Life
What’s got you spooked? “Genevieve” has been struggling with depression. She came to me asking for that to change. She quite understandably doesn’t want to experience the depression. We carefully unpacked the process through which she, in particular, gets herself to the place of being depressed. It starts with a difficulty in her life that […]
How to Turn Stuck Dreams Into Movement Forward
Have you almost given up on them? Those deep life desires that have failed to unfold for you: Are you contemplating a funeral for them? Or done so already? These dreams have been stuck so long they become defined by their stuckness and unavailability. There’s no way to imagine getting started. Indeed, trying to […]