In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is a notion called “rapport.” Rapport is the feeling a gazelle has with another gazelle, and does not feel with a lion. It’s when we know that we are with someone who shares a basic stance towards life. It’s often called “being of like kind.”   Rapport is what a […]

When you start a constellation, you almost never know what hidden gifts the ancestors may have for the client and the others present. I was reminded of this powerfully at a recent online constellation gathering.   One of the client’s set of grandparents had been deaf. This fact had been shared in the interview alongside […]

When we have feelings, they always feel like they are ours. After all, it’s our muscles that tighten, our tears that flow, our breathing that changes. The feelings are ours.   However, we can think of ordinary situations where we can “catch” feelings that mostly aren’t ours. We feel fine going into a work meeting, […]

Most people in the healing arts love what they do. Being in service to other people and alleviating suffering is deeply satisfying.   But it is not always easy. When we offer ourselves in service to people who are stuck, we bring ourselves vulnerably to their pain. We cannot keep ourselves completely separate from it, […]

Every modality has its jargon, and one of the most important ones in constellations work is “The Knowing Field.” It comes from  a colleague of Bert Hellinger, whose name is Albrecht Mahr. What do we mean by this term, and what’s important about it?   A “field” is a common general term in science that […]

We have a bond with the people we love. That bond does not go away when the people we love die. Under the best of circumstances, we can be alongside our loved ones as they die (and ourselves be accompanied when it’s our turn), and although it is difficult, we can have a sense of […]

I’m moving! To my own surprise, I’ve bought a property outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico, and will be moving mid-February to my new home.   My work, like many of us, has been online during the pandemic. I ended up canceling my office lease, and finding rich opportunities working with clients, training constellation students, and leading […]