I write a lot about how we are shaped by our families, especially our parents. But of course, there are many other influences that intensely influence our lives and what seems possible for us.
Among these forces are social and cultural systems, like racism, sexism, colonialism, wealth inequality, and all the various ways in which power is expressed in destructive ways across families, across neighborhoods, across institutions – limiting what we seem to be able to accomplish when we try to bring change to these contexts.
One aspect of systemic thinking is recognizing that any system we define is, to an extent, contrived; there is ALWAYS a larger systemic context that the smaller system is lodged within, which impacts the smaller, embedded system. (Think of the solar system located within the Milky Way Galaxy, which controls its path through space.)
This is even true of individuals: We can think of ourselves as a “mini-system,” and try to change ourselves via practices, medication, therapy, etc., but there are inherent limitations to how much we can do that as long as we are ignoring the larger systems in which we are embedded and upon which we depend for survival.
One of the blindspots of a lot of today’s spiritual and healing practices is lack of awareness, or the inability to wrestle with, these larger systemic forces. We discover or create a powerful approach to change that seems to have a great effect upon a large subset of people, and we embrace it with enthusiasm, but then we can find ourselves utterly impotent when confronted with someone who struggles with the consequences of racism or sexism or colonialism.
Which is basically okay, if we were aware of the limitations. Unfortunately, we, too, are impacted by systemic racism, sexism and colonialism, and as a result, we may not be able or willing or creative enough or brave enough to admit – this doesn’t work for people oppressed by these larger systemic forces.
We may not be able to see that part of the reason this approach is working for us, is that it is energized by our privilege (whatever that might be). And we need enough creative compassion to see that, if we don’t take very, very seriously the larger systemic forces, not only might our change work not work for others, but we might, truly, be part of the problem, despite our intention to help.
When someone struggling with racism or sexism or colonialism (or any number of other forms of oppression) tell us our approach isn’t working for them because of our blindspot, we must listen. Healthy systemic thinking tells us no one has objectivity, and that we are all located in and shaped by invisible forces. In the face of this, we need enormous humility.
Jan Jacob Stam, one of my favorite Organizational Constellation teachers, offers some principles when we want to inquire creatively into these kinds of massive social forces:
- Social Field energies are incredibly big. We can never underestimate how much smaller we are than them, and respect with humility how much courage it takes to engage them. And be prepared for the big emotions that go along with them.
- Social forces want to “colonize” individuals into their paradigms (when did “your uncle” become “a cancer patient”?). It takes some commitment to continue to see yourself and the people around you as individuals, not as actors in a systemic drama.
- These social forces are entirely ready to sacrifice the individual for the purposes of the social system. Don’t participate.
And to my male and white and other privileged colleagues in this work: we need to develop humility before our inevitable blindness, respect the powers that have swept us up into oppression, and resist the co-opting of our work into the kinds of Social Fields Stam talks about. It’s not okay to say “But she’s helped so many people,” or “He’s a genius” as a rationalization for behaviors that we know are wrong.
I’m not recommending in that place a kind of self-righteousness or collapsed guilt. Again, humility before these forces and how they affect us all is a pretty good place to start. As Bert Hellinger, the founder of Constellations work says, “Me, also.” (And by this he meant he, too, is a perpetrator – not that he was a victim – he wrote this long before the more recent movement, and in German!) I say, too, “Me, also.” I can’t imagine right now what I may have excluded ,even in this article, what I can’t see…
In these days, as we witness another layer of resistance, awakening, protest and enlivening anger, how are you doing? Where do you land in this context? How do you feel your place – as oppressor and/or oppressed – within these unimaginably larger social forces?
I invite you with gentleness to share your stories and thoughts. Please share on my blog below, so the conversation can continue…
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