What should I do? So many of my clients come, stuck with this question. It comes in infinite forms: Should I start my business or get more learning? Should I reach out to my family, or stay away from them? Should I let go of the life I’ve gotten comfortable with begin something new?
These clients don’t know what to do, and they don’t know how to find the answers they long for. Needless to say, I can’t tell them what they should do, and of course they know that. They are looking for help answering the question for themselves — they want something that they can rest into, lean on, and trust, and which would empower good action forward.
Sometimes we don’t know what to do because the timing isn’t ready. In which case, of course, the best thing to do is to wait (if circumstances permit). But sometimes, that’s not the issue. The question has been present for a long time, well past it’s expiration date, and we still hesitate. We don’t know yet.
All great spiritual traditions have ways of discerning what we should do. They agree that there is something we can call “Guidance.” If we engage a deep process, ask questions with humility, talk to real teachers and wise people, and have a way to inquire sincerely with our hearts, Guidance comes. We might still have some indecision, but we have enough understanding of our situation and its calling to move forward with commitment.
This is always a great gift. Now I know what to do. I will do that, get the support I need, and see what comes next.
Some of us almost never have this experience. Or, we thought we did, but the result was so negative that we have a hard time ever trusting that there is meaningful Guidance again.
One reason for our crisis around meaningful Guidance is our personal and collective Father wound. Having fathers who couldn’t show up reliably, and/or participating in our larger culture which carries a distorted understanding of Fatherhood, we have trouble trusting Guidance.
This isn’t the only influence, of course. (Mothers are important, too!) But it’s one that I am feeling called to explore with others.
Please consider joining me on August 9th or 11th online for a three hour workshop to explore these questions, and to tenderly seek for a new way forward. Go to Fathering & Being Fathered for more information and to register.
What is your experience of fathering or being fathered? Please share on my blog below.
I returned to this text again. Such in the core of today – for me – and as you wrote maybe collectively. Also I feel gratitude for using the term “fathering”.
Understanding they are confidential, I am curious about the two constellations – is there something to say about them?
I’m glad the word “fathering” resonates. I find that returning to a verb can help us connect with something more universal and energizing. As for reporting on constellations, we didn’t do group constellations. Instead, everyone got to do some of their own personal work, and we did a group piece together at the end to support further growth. Thanks!
What do you mean by constellations?
Hi Aaron! Ooh, big question! It’s everything my work and this website are dedicated to. For a good explanation, I invite you to go this this page on my website: https://www.conviviumconstellations.com/services/constellations/. Enjoy!