Holy Days & Solstice Light

Thanksgiving,
Gratitude,
Black Friday,
Over-Indulging,
Hanukkah,
Advent,
Solstice,
Re-Connecting,
Christmas,
Family Celebrations (& Obligations),
Less Light…and then More Light,
Mourning Old (& New) Losses,
New Year’s,
Looking Forward?

No human heart could possible hold that whole list for any meaningful length of time. And yet we do. Our heart does remarkable things, even as it breaks, heals and imagines what’s possible.

Recently, I wrote about having my heart broken, again. I got stuck, as we often do. I felt bad about being stuck. I tried really, really hard to move forward and let go and not let it matter so damn much. Needless to say, that didn’t work so well, even as it was all quite necessary.

But, when it became clear that I was blocked, and brute force wasn’t going to unblock me, and no amount of gentleness was going to do it either, I finally reached out for help.

And when the help came, it came as no effort at all. I was just, suddenly, unblocked. Someone brought what was needed (what was that? I’m not sure, but it was definitely what was needed) and then it was easy, or at least easier, and I wasn’t in conflict with myself, and didn’t have to try so hard.

That’s grace.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean to say that it’s hopeless until grace comes, and don’t bother trying or wanting until it decides to show up. OMG, that sounds awful.

What I mean is that grace comes in the unexpected package. And we can start receiving the unexpected package when we start, well, paradoxically, looking in the strange places for it. It comes from the strange places.

You can’t bottle grace. If you could, you really would have to stop calling it “grace,” wouldn’t you? But you can work with it. I work with it every time I sit with a client, aware of and in rapport how it’s completely blocked for them, and also, at the same time, aware of how it’s not blocked, how it’s just on the edge of being resolved, how love it so right there, and soon, it will be easy.

That is this season. In Christian tradition, right now it’s Advent, the time of pregnancy and waiting, but also not waiting, because we know what’s coming, what’s come, and what’s always, always here. And we humans seem to require pregnancy, anyway. Because, apparently, we value the becoming, the growing, the healing, the receiving–none of which we’d have if we have it all already.

Have a blessed season.