Of All the Constellations in all the Towns, in all the World, He Walks Into Mine…

I hold family constellation gatherings every 2-3 weeks in Berkeley. At my last gathering, we had a new visitor–his name was Alfonso Malpica, and he was visiting the Bay Area from his home in Mexico City. His parents, Alfonso and Angelica Malpica are leaders in constellation work in Mexico, and they are the primary organizers in Mexico City for Bert Hellinger, the founder of Family Constellations, and his wife Sophie, who now trains alongside him.

At the end of the evening, young Alfonso approached me: he said “Leslie, Bert is training in Mexico City in two weeks. You have to come. I will get a ticket for you.”

No, that really just happened. Someone from Mexico visited San Francisco for two days, looked for a constellation event on google while he was here, found my event, attended, and then arranged for me to come to Mexico, free ticket, free lodging (neither of which were inexpensive).

Needless to say, I couldn’t go. I’d just returned from a big annual vacation (also in Mexico) and I was terribly behind in my business. I hadn’t planned to be away for a whole week at this point in time. I couldn’t go.

But, I went. Right? I had to.

I spent an amazing week in Mexico City, learning and receiving healing from the 90 year old founder of my life’s work. And, since it felt like this gift from the universe wasn’t just for me, I invited James Woeber, with whom I am co-directing the North American Systemic Constellations Conference in San Diego this November (you are all coming, right?). So, together we observed, sank into the Field, and made profound connections.

What were my main learnings? (Warning–a bit of jargon here, mostly for readers who understand the basics of constellation work.) 

• Constellation work really benefits from slowing… things…down. Bert insists his representatives move very, very slowly, and I noticed that when that happened, they became much more sensitive, receptive, and resourceful.
• He also didn’t allow the representatives to “report in,” which meant that if there was something really important to “say” it had to be said with their bodies and movement, rather than words. And, they had to become creative about dealing with the normal internal pressures that representatives experience. Because of this, the re-solutions frequently emerged on their own, without much facilitator interaction. That gave the re-solutions enormous power to impact the client, because they arise as part of the healing wisdom of the system.
• Bert has a way of summing up the whole system problem or solution in one word or phrase. One time he said to the client “It’s over.” Those two words nearly did everything the client needed–it was quite a remarkable moment. Feeling deeply into the “sense” of the system and finding simple words to convey it were deeply healing.
• So, as a facilitator, I can slow down and do less, and therefore maybe do much more for my clients. That’s scary, but it’s also really exciting.

Personally, I also had two very profound healings while sitting in my seat with 800 other people–one with my mother, and another with my father. Both were as strong as any more elaborate constellation set up.

Young Alfonso Malpica showed up one day, and I was there, and he offered, and I said yes. And everything is a bit different now.

It was unusual, but it was also very, very ordinary. Extraordinary appearances happen all the time–do we see them all? I figure I miss most of the ones in my life, but this one I saw. I invite you to see yours…

Have you ever said yes to an opportunity that seemed crazy? What happened? I’d love to hear from you! Please post your comments and questions here.