If you have been struggling with money, how come? In a world of abundance, and, indeed, a country of abundance, how come some of us struggle so much with money?
As a solo entrepreneur, I am involved in a lot of networks and communities that I hope will help me grow my practice and increase my income. I get lots of offers to join 6-Figure this and thats. These organizations want us to believe that abundance is everywhere, and that wealth is just a function of mindset. (Of course, to be even just a little more cynical, their promise to make you rich quick is part of the sales job…)
It’s an awfully nice idea, but there’s a huge problem with this framework: It takes each one of us completely out of our cultural context, and it ignores that “mindset” isn’t something that is just ruled by our conscious minds.
Here are some things I’ve noticed about clients who have struggled with money:
- Some of them have ancestors who got their wealth through unfair means.
- Some of them have ancestors who has their wealth stolen from them.
- Some of them have ancestors who had great dignity although their material wealth was minimal.
- Some of them lived in households where the role of money in the relationship between their parents was so toxic, it felt like money itself was a threat.
- Some of them had primary breadwinners (usually the father) who suffered enormously in this role, and were fundamentally absent as they tried to provide.
Do any of these scenarios speak to you? Take a moment, notice the visible or invisible dynamics that might be at work that are making money feel:
- threatening
- impossible
- “for other people”
- always out of reach
- etc.
Mindset won’t fix this. And it certainly doesn’t matter much that abundance is everywhere. That’s, finally, not really the point.
What is the point? The point is that lack, fear, loss and betrayal in our family systems around money needs to be honored, included, and given a dignified place. If this doesn’t happen, our re-choosing hardly matters. But when it does, it really, really matters.
Take a moment, now, then, to honor whatever happened in your family–what you know, and what you don’t know–around money across the generations. And then ask them, with great dignity, to send you their blessings of life…
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