When you start a constellation, you almost never know what hidden gifts the ancestors may have for the client and the others present. I was reminded of this powerfully at a recent online constellation gathering.
One of the client’s set of grandparents had been deaf. This fact had been shared in the interview alongside a lot of other information, and neither of us particularly focused on it, given what the client was focused on resolving, which seems unrelated.
Nonetheless, in the first few minutes of the constellation, it became clear that these grandparents would end up being the focus on our work. At first, what was revealed was the suffering they’d experienced in a hearing world, and the abuse they’d experienced. This suffering, so long unacknowledged, was still resonating in the client’s system, and we were called to honor what they had gone through. This movement was difficult, yet beautiful, and deeply necessary.
After that, though, another stage emerged — re-discovering the special gifts of deafness, and the hidden legacy of those gifts that the family today had clearly received, although until now the client hadn’t realized where they had come from. The entire group was deeply touched as we honored the wisdom and dignity of these two grandparents, and the love they shared with their granddaughter, and in a way, with all of us.
As much as many of us don’t want to acknowledge it, disability is not “special” — most of us will experience a disability at some time in our lives. It is part of the human experience, and our denial of disability lays heavily on those among us who most carry this meaning. But the First Order of Love is Honoring What Is, and as we do that in our lineages, we have the privilege of giving respect to any who suffered, and of receiving the life that flows through them in their special ways.
What is your experience of acknowledging a hidden legacy in your family? Please share on my blog, below.
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