If you were to stand across from the heart of your work–your business, your vocation, your employment, your career–what do you think it would feel like?
These questions are part of a recent exercise that I developed that I’ve been using a lot with my clients. I adapted it from a prayer practice I learned from the good and wise people at The Heart of Business. I’ve adapted their prayer practice into a constellation exercise that has been a powerful tool for many of my clients wanting to heal or grow their work.
Why would this be so powerful? It’s important to remember: Your work is not you. It may be your creation, but it isn’t you. In the constellation field, it’s a separate representation, and therefore, it’s something you have a relationship with.
However, because we don’t tend to think this way, it doesn’t necessarily occur to us to check in with this relationship. And, even if it did, how could we? It turns out that constellations gives us a great way to do just that.
For anyone who is struggling in any way with their work, or who simply want to grow in their work, this exercise can be a great way to find out what’s really going on, and it can also begin to suggest ways of moving forward.
Here is the exercise; I invite you to give it a try! Take two pieces of paper, and on one write your name. On the other, write something like “The heart of my business,” or “The heart of my vocation” or “The heart of my career,” or whatever seems like the right language and a match for what your work is. Place these two slips of paper on the ground across from each other, perhaps a few feet apart.
In constellation work, as soon as we place our intention on exploring the field, the unconscious of a system–in this case, by putting down the pieces of paper– representations for these two are present, just as if you had two people in the room looking at each other. (For those of you who are familiar with this work, it’s something that you are already accustomed to. For everyone else, give it a try!)
Now, step on the paper that has your name. Allow yourself to settle into the field, and then just notice what you feel. Neutral? Happy? Nervous? Notice that there is “someone” across from you: The heart of your work. What does that feel like? Warm and trusting? Doubting, fearful? Just notice without any judgment how that feels. Then, step off of the paper for a moment.
Then, step onto the other paper. You are now “representing” (a technical term in constellation work) the heart of your work, standing across from you. As the role settles, how does that feel? Do you feel big? Small? Nervous, trusting? What does this relationship feel like to the heart of your work? Again, notice without judgment.
Just this is often a huge aha for my clients. They finally really feel what is going on, and they realize that staying in touch with this relationship is really important. For instance, a client of mine did this exercise and discovered that the heart of their business felt really small and needed a lot more support. Another one noticed the heart of their business didn’t really trust them, and realized that the issues of trust she had been dealing with her whole life were invisibly blocking her own business, which she loved so much.
If this exploration is all you do, that’s great. However, you can also continue to explore, going back and forth, asking questions, seeing if moving the positions changes anything, just seeing what’s there.
At the end of the exercise, do one last thing while standing on your piece of paper: Tell the heart of your work that you promise to stay in touch and grow this relationship. This is a very, very important relationship, and like all important relationships, it requires our commitment to stay in touch, check in, and create connection.
When you are done, you may wonder, what next? You may have had strong feelings, but what can you do about them? There are lots of ways to continue working with what you’ve discovered.
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