So long ago, back in my 20s, I first read George Leonard’s classic book, Mastery. It has a pride of place on my bookshelf as one of the possibly 20 top books that deeply affected me and my life path. Over and over, I refer back to it as I make choices and decide on commitments. Which in many ways, is a large part of what makes up our lives, right?
Leonard wrote this book following the 70s and 80s, a time of increasing exploration. He had his place right in the middle of that culture-changing human potential movement. He admired much about that period of time – its openness to the new, the willingness to challenge entrenched structures, the appreciation for diversity, and the ability to see wisdom in the Other. He also offered a critique, however: To him, it seemed, these explorations risked being shallow, touristic, and even a bit voyeuristic. (Today, we might include concerns about cultural appropriation, as well.)
His book was an invitation to consider “mastery”: making a commitment to a path or practice, and seeking a high level of expertise and understanding, even wisdom. For him, it was Aikido, in which he himself eventually became a Sensei. He could have kept exploring different forms of martial arts, but he committed to one, even when it could become dry, repetitive or uninspiring.
He became very, very good at it. As those of us who are very good at anything, there is a particular pleasure in this experience, that no amount of exploring can fulfill. We created this, built this, learned this, embodied this, to a place of leadership in this. We bore the challenges and setbacks, stuck with it, and became highly skilled.
And thank God for that! Without it, we wouldn’t have surgeons or concert pianists or amazing massage practitioners or midwives or high level athletes or architects or prized special needs teachers. Dedication to practice, to finding great mentors, and to traveling our learning curve produces the pleasures and power of excellence.
There is still a place for less committed exploration. Indeed, it’s necessary. To try things and find that, well, it’s not our thing, or it was great but not something we’re called to stick with. As we pursue mastery, we also need lighter pursuits to enjoy and light up our lives. These further explorations also are our way of finding something we want to do with more commitment. On occasion, we feel called to put down something in which we’ve achieved mastery, and find a new calling. That’s part of life, too.
Finally, there is even a bit of an obligation to explore beyond our usual fields of understanding so that we can be informed and avoid parochialism, sectarianism, and outright ignorance. We can’t be an expert in everything! But I still believe in the value of what used to be called being “well-read” or “worldly.” (Although those old terms often revealed their own cultural blindspots.)
Many of you reading this may be identifying with all this – you’ve sought and enjoy mastery in some practice, or perhaps are wonderfully on the way there. But some of you may be feeling regret that somehow, in your life, this has not happened yet. Most of us long for some kind of sustained commitment to something – a partner, a career, a practice, maybe just keeping our house clean! – and we’re missing something if we have the sense that we’re unable to do this.
Please hold this awareness with great tenderness. There are so many things that can go wrong in childhood that make “sticking with something” very hard. It can be a chaotic childhood that doesn’t role model that kind of consistency. Or an interrupted attachment with parents that makes it hard for us to attach to our own life path. Or an ancestral history that was filled with suffering and heartache with which we are entangled. Sometimes, a several trauma inhibits our brain’s ability to cope well in life generally. Or, it can be oppression: racism, sexism, colonialism, ableism – all of these can be structural impediments to being able to pursue our masterful callings.
I have many clients who come to me, feeling like they have been unable to fulfill their potential and are filled with longing for it. There is much healing work for all of us to do – for ourselves and on behalf of others – so that we can all our special genius and give it in service to others. (And, just a short commercial – family constellation work can be a great resource for healing just these kinds of interruptions.)
What has been your experience of mastery, or seeking it? What do you enjoy doing really, really well, perhaps better than most anyone else? What have you learned from your commitment to your practice? I’d love to hear more about your experience – please share on my blog, at the bottom of this page.
One area I’ve decided to pursue mastery in is Family Constellations. I do so because of how much pleasure it gives me, and also out of an obligation to my clients – that to be in service to them means constantly seeking growth and knowledge.
I also feel called to mastery in teaching Family Constellations, because I want to help others who also want mastery in this work! I have found so many who trained to be facilitators, but they don’t facilitate because they lack confidence or a sense that they’ve had enough time to practice. I’ve met others who feel good about their constellating, but want to grow to another level in a conscious and supported way.
That’s why, for the third year, I am offering an Advanced Constellations Facilitator Training, starting in last March, 2019. For two years, I’ve gathered a sweet, powerful group of people who are fiercely dedicated to constellations work. We’ve explored advanced topics, but mostly we practice, practice, practice. In this way, we find our own blindspots, and the nuances of our work. And we seek mastery.
I am now gathering a new group, and I’m announcing an exciting change this year: Instead of five weekend workshops, we are now going to have two four-day residencies over three months, with in-between online classes. This is in response to interest from distance students, who’ve wanted to join in but found the time and expense of monthly travel to be too burdensome. This will make it much easier for them to join in fully.
Registration is now open! Save $250 through March 1st. If you are curious, it’s a significant commitment, so reach out to me now to have a conversation about whether this is the right fit for you. I’d be honored and delighted!
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